Orking It Off

Hello and welcome to Orking It Off.

My name is Greg, and I am fat. That's probably a good place to start.

I also like to play the online multiplayer game World of Warcraft.

Whether or not those two facts are related is anyone's guess. I'd like to think that my rotundity is a direct result of playing too many video games. I could cancel my subscription, and that'd be that. No more sitting around watching monsters hit each other. Wouldn't that be nice? It'd be easy, certainly.

But it isn't easy. If it were easy to be in shape, I'd be in shape. I've always preferred the easy way out. I've always talked myself out of putting any effort into anything. I'm just going to die some day, right? Why try in school? Why go to college? Why look for a better job? Why improve myself? It's all temporary.

I let that attitude guide my life. And now, freshly twenty-three years old, I am tipping the scales at three hundred and fifteen pounds of slacker. Suddenly temporary seems like a long time.

Now, I'm not one of those horrific Dateline characters who don't wear clothes anymore because they don't make t-shirts to fit Volkswagens, I can walk through my door with relative ease. My body type is the same as every male in my family, tall and thick and strong. We have heavy frames, big shoulders, thick arms and legs and necks. If you cut every ounce of fat off my body, I'd probably still weigh at least two-forty.

With that said, why don't I just buckle down and do it?

Motivation. And that's what this blog is all about. I need to force myself to do the right things. Go to the gym *every* day, instead of just when I can get someone to come with me. Eat right. Admit it when I screw up. Accountability, and I daresay shame, is a motivating factor.

And in order to facilitate that, to make this fun for me and hopefully for my readers (if I ever get any), I'll be incorporating World of Warcraft into my weight loss goal. Meet Gathunk.

Gathunk is a level 1 Orc Warrior. He is my new gym buddy.

It works like this. Characters in World of Warcraft "level up" by killing monsters, completing quests, and performing other feats. The highest level a character can reach is 85, and each level takes longer to achieve than the one before it. It's an effort. It's a commitment of time, and if you slack off or don't know what you're doing, it can take ages. You may quit, you may get tired. I've completed the grind before, on my Mage character.

Why can't I apply that same mentality and devotion to improving myself, instead of improving a wizard made of pixels?

No good reason, that's why.

So I'll be shutting myself away from WoW, with the sole exception of Gathunk. For every pound I lose, Gathunk will be allowed to rise one level. As we grow together, I will be writing here about my own habits and how well or badly I am sticking to the plan, and about Gathunk's adventures in Azeroth. My faithful readers (should I ever have any) will follow me as I improve myself, and embark on an exciting fantasy quest.

I don't know if this is going to work. I am still going to have to put effort into this, even if I make a game out of it. I am going to have to be honest with myself and with you. It's going to be difficult. But I want it.

And if I can't win with an Orc on my team, I can't win at all.

Lok'tar Ogar!