Anyway, if I managed to lose 3 pounds *every* week, I would be down to my target weight in a matter of a few months. So in a way, it's a good start. Whatever. I'm trying to remain optimistic and enthusiastic. Yesterday was a bummer, but I've consulted some wise people and I feel much better about the whole situation.
So! With a nibble of progress achieved, it's time to introduce Gathunk and the World of Warcraft. I have made a tiny start, and now so will he.
(If for some reason you'd like to see the pictures more clearly, simply click on them.)
Every Orc begins his career in the Valley of Trials, a walled off area of the country known as Durotar. It's a dry, Montana-looking place, full of scorpions and cacti and not a whole lot else. For whatever reason, the green-skinned Orcs feel right at home here, as it serves to toughen them up. Orc structures, made of leather and bone, dot what is otherwise a desolate and altogether shitty landscape. I don't see any water.
Gathunk appears in front of a helpful-looking Orc, identified as a Quest Giver by the gold exclamation point hovering over his head.
This Orc performs the illustrious duty of telling Gathunk to go talk to a different Orc, sitting next to that campfire. He shakes his head at the redundancy of Orc government and walks over to the campfire Orc, completing his first Quest in the process.
That's right, Quest. In WoW, every piddling task that can be assigned to you is labeled a Quest, even if there's nothing epic or glorious about it. Case in point, the campfire Orc gives Gathunk his first task as a mighty warrior of the Horde: Slaughtering docile, tame pigs for dinner.
Such is life in Durotar.
Gathunk jogs over to the Pig Farm and waves hello to the husband and wife whose livestock he's about to holocaust, then pulls out his axe. Let the grisly work begin.
Gathunk only has to kill six of the defenseless beasts, and prepares to quickly dispatch them as painlessly as possible. Much to our surprise, however, the oinking fiends fight back! They possess a skill called Angry Snort, which deals Nature-type damage to Gathunk and knocks him stumbling backwards. Bastards!
But Gathunk, however inexperienced, is a mighty Orc. Bellowing with... well, indignation, he raises his axe and murders eight of the savage creatures. The Experience Points from his victims adds up to Level Two.
Cool. Gathunk takes a few calming breaths, casts a warning look at the few remaining pigs, and returns to the campfire Orc to collect his reward. Which is a nice pair of chainmail gloves.
Campfire Orc then gives us our next assignment: Kill some Humans! There are invisible ninja spies from the nearby Human settlement Northwatch, and they're spying on the Valley of Trials. Obviously they need to die, and Gathunk the Pig Mutilator is just the Orc for the job.
He quietly sneaks up on a cloaked Human figure and prepares to strike!
Immediately it becomes obvious that these Humans are more dangerous than tame pigs. The scout counterattacks instantly, poking Gathunk with a pair of puny knives, throwing little knives all over the place, and generally just acting like a raging dickhead.
But he falls. They all fall. Several violent moments later, Gathunk roars atop the bodies of his enemies, and strikes down a final Human spy to reach Level 3.
And that's it for today. The journey has begun, and there's a long way to go for both of us. Hopefully our progress remains steady.
Thanks for reading!
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